Feathers of an Angel
by Jesall
Summary: 5 years in the future, the nature of Squall and Rinoa's love is tested through bitter recourse. War, lust, and the like are all included...
1. Introduction

Final Fantasy VIII - Feathers of an Angel 

Final Fantasy VIII Fan Fiction   
**Feathers of an Angel**   
_Introduction_   
  
By   
Jesall

  The day brought in a new light on the world. Five years. Five long years had passed since that day. And Squall awoke to another day. He still remembered those days, fighting alongside Rinoa, for the world, for friendship, love. And now he had the chance to wake everyday beside her smiling face, glistening in a new day. Feelings told him that today would be an odd day, unlike any other. Ever since the transformation that took place five years ago inside of him; he felt calm, at peace; until now. 

  He simply smiled at her, kissing his wife on the forehead. He'd complete the usual routine; nothing changes for the life of a SeeD. SeeD had also changed over the past five years, it was no longer a mercenary group, but rather a group determined to seek peaceful resolutions at all costs. There those rare occurrences when, they must fight. The feeling arose in Squall again, he couldn't pinpoint it, and he felt uneasy. Something told him that an untold evil grew as he looked upon the tender loving face of his wife, Rinoa. He couldn't simply shake this feeling, maybe, five years ago but not now. Too much rode on his decisions, he had to think responsibly now. After all, he had a wife to protect, a child coming, and a Garden to command. 

  If someone had told him he'd have been doing this five years ago, the response would have been a cool, nonchalant, _"whatever..."_ but now, that won't suffice. How could it suffice in a day and age such as this? The epitome of the changing times took place five years ago, during the revolution of Squall. Becoming more in tuned to the nature of things, to the friendships, the people, what was a guy to do? Squall had passed these thoughts off for the last few years, and now they were resurrecting themselves inside him. Each took on a new personality, drawing his thoughts to each one. _"No wonder I put these out of my mind..,"_ he thought. Times certainly had become more complex but he could handle it. For he was Squall, and for that exact reason was the reason why he had no choice.

  As the thoughts swirled about his mind the sun had finally broke the horizon, officially ringing in a new day. Making an unconscious start. Who was to say what today would bring? Who would be able to say what tomorrow will bring? Squall couldn't, wouldn't think about such things, his mind was too full as it is. The itinerary of the day ran through his mind. Run over battle strategy, hold conference of senior staff, and make corrections to strategy from suggestions of senior staff. _"Our anniversary!"_ He had almost forgotten, today was their two year anniversary. Married two years to this day, _"wow."_ Who would have guessed? He could remember that day. Rose petals filled the air, all his friends were there. Rinoa seemed happy on that day, happier than she ever was. For now, they could finally rest in a peaceful world, without more senseless death. She would say to him on that day, _"I do."_ And he would say the same exact thing. But did he really? _"I don't remember, did I actually say 'I do'?"_ That was eerie he couldn't even remember his own wedding day. 

  The uneasiness manifested itself in his mind again. _"Something is definitely wrong,"_ he nearly collapsed under the weight of his thoughts. And as he looked into the horizon he could have sworn he saw a feather float across the brilliant sun. _"Must be seeing things."_

  He thought back to his wedding, which led to the thoughts of five years ago. He was almost as light-hearted and free as he was during those adventures they had together. When everyone was together for one single cause, to save time and earth. No time to stop and think, only time to do. The moments. All the moments they shared together, something he was actually connected to. He had finally felt close to someone during those times. Not just one single person, like Sis, but this time he felt close to many others. The depth and perception of the people who surrounded him during those times, the feelings of unity he felt during that time were incredible. 

  _"All I see is you, Sis,"_ he once said. The times certainly have changed; Sis wouldn't be the first one to come to mind now. During these times it'd be Rinoa. _"Seems a little awkward, 'All I see is you, Rinoa,' who would have guessed, Rinoa and I."_ As he stared blankly out the window he turned to look at her. He looked down slowly, and noticed his necklace, _"What once was named Griever shall be renamed Angelo."_ _"When did I do this? I don't remember inscribing this into my necklace."_ That's when it caught his mind. Three years ago, when Garden decided to pursuit peaceful methods. He hung up his gunblade and threw away his pain; Angelo representing Rinoa ... 

  Rinoa interrupted his thoughts as she flipped in bed. He gave her a piercing glare, an angry glare. _"What am I doing? Why am I angry at her for simply flipping in bed?... what is going on..."_ She laid there in peace as he stared at her, contemplating the nature of happenings. He didn't know exactly what was happening but, as always, it was bad. _"What a bad day."_

  His mind started to slide from himself to Rinoa. She would wake soon, cheering his day, bringing meaning to the day. As Rinoa would wake soon, he wanted to greet her with an old friend. He quietly slid under the bed to pull out a box. This box, covered in dust, was once his most important object in life. That importance now shifted to Rinoa, leaving his old friend by the wayside. But he could never let go of his past, he still knew that fighting was inevitable, besides how could simply throw away such a loyal friend. 

  _"How loyal could a person be, when silver and mithril were the only true things in this world."_ Old philosophies filled his mind once again. He blew the dust away from the box, and pulled out his old gunblade, it glistened as if it were new. Nostalgia overwhelmed his mind, as he fell to one knee. He again could feel a growing sense of urgency, a growing evil. He knew the GardenÕs current mission wasn't going to end peacefully. He knew what he must do, he now knew how he must deal with it. He stared at the inscriptions made on his gunblade, this relic of weaponry. 

  He wondered if anyone actually used these anymore. What with the technological advancements that Esthar brought to the world when they were pried from their society. It was hard to even find a gunblade anymore, let alone a blade made of mithril or metal. Now it was all lasers, and guns. But he loved this blade. He'd never give it up, for anything. It seemed so long ago, the years ago when he actually had a use for the relic he now held. He thought back to those times, and noticed that the years run together after that. But those times were crystal clear. Him and his blade, the only two things he trusted back then. _"That's the way it was supposed to be. No reliance on anyone but you and your blade."_ And then came the graduation ceremony where his life would be changed forever. Rinoa. And the story of five years ago would unfold, and soon heÕd become who he is today, standing where he is now. 

  _"An ebb and flow of time, they say history repeats itself,"_ he'd always push those thoughts out of his mind, he wanted nothing more than for those days to stay in the past. And as he picked himself up from near collapse he noticed Rinoa had awoken. Rinoa simply smiled, but it soon faded as she noticed the blade. She'd always brighten his day with her youthful, cheery smile. But now, it seemed different. She seemed faintly and oddly concerned. _"What is she concerned about? Should I ask her? What if I'm wrong?"_

   As the questions rolled through Squall's mind Rinoa felt the sense of nostalgic urgency, with no time to think about your next action. She loved those feelings, chasing Squall, fighting beside him, saving the earth together. She could recall those days, those were the happiest days of her life, and now, she had him all to herself. Nothing really changed from then and now. Things had remained the same since the wedding and today. She loved him just as much as she ever had, if not more. But she couldn't help thinking of five years ago, those times were the best times of her life. Yet all the dying that took place around her, made her often wonder how she remained so happy. She hated fighting, until she had a cause. She'd always use that as her excuse for reasoning enjoyment out of so much pain. She hadn't felt an uneasiness come from Squall since those times. But now, she felt that uneasiness coming from him, as if he were hiding something. 

"Hi there..." she trailed off in a groggy voice. 

Putting his hand to his forehead and walking across to the corner of the room he replied, "Hi..."

She knew he was hiding something now; which was strange he hadn't done that for nearly five years.

"Squall, what's on your mind? Are you feeling alright? Worried about the mission?" 

"No.. nothing like that. It's just... never mind.." 

"Squall? What are you hiding from me? What's going on?!" Her voice picked up, she was getting worried now.

"Nothing.." He walked out of the room, dropping the blade.

  The blade fell for what seemed to be an eternity. It rang true to the floor, making even one's soul shatter. As it fell Rinoa started to cry, the tears not stopping for hours. The blade lay there, facing her as if mocking her. It finally laid to the floor as Squall left the room. She watched Squall and the tears started to stream from her eyes, she watched the blade fall, as if it were in some sort of slow motion. It seemed to replay over and over in her mind, and every time it ended with a soul-chilling screech of the blade hitting the floor. She couldn't help but notice the fact that he left her there, crying, alone. All she could do is sigh. So she simply sighed. If there were one thing she learned over the course of their journey five years ago, was that he'd only talk when he was ready. She knew it was the only way. As she slid out of bed, she got dressed, picked up the blade, and walked after him. 

  Squall stared out on the water from the port deck, where they first kissed. Feelings of uneasiness flooded his mind again. _"What is going on with me...?"_ That was when he noticed it, the time froze, the earth turned black, he whispered to himself, "Black Sunday." These sights confirmed his uneasiness; he now knew it was coming. He knew an epic battle would ensue, and he would once again plunge his soul into battle. But this time he didn't know whom he would be fighting, this mysterious evil, or himself...


	2. Chapter One: Catalyst

**Chapter One:**   
_Catalyst_

  Balamb Garden pulled onto the shore in front of Winhill. The day brought an eerie fog upon the land, this day was sure to bring unpleasant feelings and dreams. Squall was miles away, waiting for someone to wake him from his trance. The words "Black Sunday" were on his lips for the past hours. As Squall stood on the deck, Rinoa stood and watched, gunblade in hand. 

"You dropped this.." She said calmly.

"I know, I thought you might want it. You know, in case something happened.." His words made no sense to Rinoa; for now.

"What is on your mind Squall, why won't you let me in?" She walked up to him putting her arms around him, looking at him.

"Nothing..."

"Squall, I know you better than that. You haven't acted like this for what? Five years? And now, all of a sudden you become drawn in, ignoring all my attempts to help." She said, trying to comfort him.

He turned sharply toward her, his words piercing her heart, "Look, why don't you back off! I know what you're trying to do, I have a really bad feeling, okay? Is it so much to ask that I deal with it myself? Why must you pry?"

"I.. I.. didn't.." The words escaped her; she couldn't feel anything. She dropped the gunblade over the edge; she was numb. 

  Squall watched his last friend fall to the ground, shattering into unsalvageable pieces. He watched the blade fall, for what seemed to be hours. It would replay in his mind for years to come, for it was not just his weapon breaking. It was his heart, his soul. The fire burned inside of him. He longed for that thrill again, those days where he had no responsibilities, where he could lose himself inside his own mind. Those days had vanished, just as quickly as they came.

   Rinoa too watched the blade fall, she couldn't help but explode into tears. She cried not for the gunblade but for his contempt of love. She could only stare at the blade, and for a moment she swore that it was him falling to the ground. She watched, over and over, trying to find the exact point in which her heart broke, she gasped for the words, the feelings she longed to hear, to say.

"Squa... Squall... I.. I.. I'm so..." Again, the words escaped her. This once fluent, intelligent being was struck speechless. The one who brought happiness to his life, couldn't do anything but look at the broken pieces and gulp in pain. 

  He ignored her half-words. He too made a futile attempt at speech. He soon gave up on his stutters and stared at his necklace. He read it aloud. 

   "What once was named Griever shall be renamed Angelo." His words burned inside her. He forced her to tears and brought her back, just to push her back again. She knew what that meant. He knew that she would know the meaning. He read it for a purpose; a reason fell upon his words. 

   He tossed the necklace to her, and walked away. She wouldn't let it happen though, she couldn't. How could she hold the piece of jewelry that burnt hot in her hand. It burnt with love. An exfoliated love, it seered her hand with the piercing feelings he felt. She broke into tears again. 

"Squall! You can't go! Not again.." She tried to reach him; she tried with everything she had to reach his heart. He turned halfway and gave her a glare that reflected the fire in him. His eyes burned with fire. His soul was on fire, he had to quench that fire with battle. He knew it was coming, and he knew it'd come again. He also knew that there was not a single entity alive that could stop it. He remembered the fire, the raw untamed emotion. He always hid it behind his masking ability. _"Introvert? Ha..."_

   He simply replied, "Whatever,,,"

   As he walked out the door he saw their wedding picture. _"The wedding.."_ The picture pierced his heart more than any sword, any bullet could. The feelings poured from his eyes, much like tears, his soul was flooding his vision. But, being the way he is, he walked out the door, collected his thoughts and went outside to scan the region. 

   He walked to the place where the gunblade lay; smashed. _"So much for that. It looks like mithril and steel weren't the only things broken today"_ As he stood staring at the fragments of steel that once were his catalyst, Zell came running into the scene. 

"Hey SQUALL! We have problems." He said, as if the world were crashing around their feet. 

"What is it this time, Zell? Can't you see I'm busy? I hope this is important." Squall had the feeling, and the words on the tip of the tongue; and maybe on a worse day he'd use them, but not today. 

"Well it's Garden. You see, the fryer somehow.. got overworked... and now it's out, along with the boiler..." His emphatic enthusiasm soon was shrouded with darkness. 

"So what you're saying is that there are no hot dogs for you? Is that all you're concerned with? You and your damned hot dogs. Well, what are you waiting for? Go, run to Winhill, there must be a technician there." He said, and as he tossed him an extra 5 gil, he continued, "Here take this, buy yourself something nice at the Inn." 

"BOOYA! Thanks Squall!! You know, that's what makes YOU a great leader!!" His shrowded sadness was soon turned to joy. 

   Squall whispered under his breath, "Simply amused..." Then in a louder, clearer voice he said, "Whatever..." He watched Zell run off in into the sun's form, gleeful and careless. _"I wish I could do that.."_

   He turned back to the mithril pieces and picked them up. He would shed a tear for his trusted gunblade, but not today. Once he collected all the pieces he walked a short journey to the ocean, and tossed them into the water. 

   A cool wind brought in a chilling realization. He was without a weapon in a fiend-infested area. How would he defend himself? These thoughts ran through his mind as he could feel a presence appear behind him. A cold, heartless being, possibly a dragon. He turned to see what it was, only to notice it was Rinoa. 

_"How much more wrong could I get? Or did I?"_ "Can I help you?" He said as he turned back toward the water, staring blankly. "If so, then make it quick, we have a battle to wage." 

"Yes Squall, there is something you can help me with." She said with that calm one gets when a cold wind is present. 

"And that is?" 

"You can help me to... understand. Maybe the GF made me forget, but I like to think I remember you; who you are, who you were, and who you want to be." 

"Stop with the GF bullshit, it's all pointless rumor anyway. As for what I can help you with, I remain unclear as to what you need." He said with a bitter feeling inside of him. 

"What has happened to you? It's as if today, on this day of all days, you revert. You fall back into yourself. What has happened, Squall?" 

"You want to know? You really want to know what HAS happened? Or do you want to know what WILL happen?" 

"BothÉ whatever is on your mind, Squall." 

"Don't you remember Black Sunday? Five years ago?" 

"Of course I do! How could anyone forget that day, the dreaded day?" 

"Yeah, and do you remember EXACTLY what happened on that day?" He was testing her, to see if she could prove herself worthy of his information. This would be a pivotal conclusion he would be forced to make. A decision unlike any other made before; yet, so similar. Perhaps it was more like all the other decisions he had made, but to him this decision was far more important. 

"Yes. Of course!" Suddenly her cool, collected calm broke into a beaming smile. "Yes, you rescued me from space, we found Ragnarok,, and the lunar cry hit the earth! And to top that off, we showed our love to each other. Our anniversary! You do remember!" 

"Ugh..." 

"What?" Shock overtook her face, bringing loss of feeling again. 

"That's not Black Sunday! Black Sunday was the day of time compression! If you don't know then don't simply make something up! What did you think you were doing? Black Sunday had NOTHING to do with our anniversary, you just wanted it to!" His words bit into her, "I don't see why I'd call it Black Sunday if that's the day we fell in love!" 

"Squall...!" She tried to relieve her disbelief by announcing the only name she truly believed in. The source of so much strength to her, the intoxication of his name brought a smile to her face everyday. 

"What?" She had failed the test, miserably. Much worse than he thought. 

"Squall, what relevance does this even have?" 

"Well, I can feel the presence ushering itself into this land. And I know it will start here. The evil was not vanquished five years ago. The evil was not renounced from the land; it now feeds itself off the land, the earth." He slowly walked to her, putting his arms around her, and continued, "This is all because of our careless actions. And this time, no machinery, no technology, nothing will protect us from the harm that will ensue. How do I know this you ask? I don't. I feel." 

"Squall..." Her muscles relaxed, her tense look blew away with the wind. She was now safe, no matter what evil he spoke of. Her knight held her, that's all that was needed. 

"I'm sorry Rinoa, I was just thinking you wouldn't understand, I suddenly felt a fear of inconsistency coming from you. I didn't want to risk it, because after all you were a sorceress." His smile relaxed himself, and her; for the moment. 

"I understand." The smile he gave her, brought her to a smile. 

"Happy Anniversary." He said, smiling, staring up at the sun. 

"Happy Anniversary." She said, smiling, staring down in the direction of Winhill. 

   The fog had lifted since their fight and it brought the clear day to fullness at high noon. But they didn't care, they held each other there, for perhaps, the last time. 


	3. Chapter Two: Distribution

**Chapter Two:**

_Distribution_

"Uhhh… what time is it…" Irvine was always slow to rise, and this was no exception. 

"Selphie?" Irvine asked as he slowly rose to meet the demand of the day. The pain came to his head like a hammer. 

"Uhh… damn... rough night…" He said groggily, with a hang over clouding his mind. That night had been rough, the sea wasn't the friendliest place around. He washed away his fears and qualms with alcohol. A drunken man brandishing a gun isn't always the best person to have as a patron, but the bartender who owned the pub inside Garden, didn't care. He was a regular, why did it matter as long as he paid. Personal affairs were out of his league. 

"Selph?" Irvine asked again. 

He walked through their dormitory looking for Selphie, when he found a note on the table. The note had been written hastily, but with a given consent. A crimson handwriting adorned it making it seem almost evil, but yet innocent. _"Hey Irv, I've gone to the Training Center to try out my new nunchakus, be back soon!"_ As always it showed a certain Selphified-Spunk. Her style, a style no one else could understand. 

Irvine walked through the room half-asleep trying to grasp something edible to eat. He opened the refrigerator and found milk. He was too thirsty to find a glass so he decided that he would drink it straight from the carton. He was greeted with his just reward, sour milk. 

"PFFF, who leaves SOUR milk in the 'frig? And I was so thirsty for milk, gah." _I guess it was for the better; milk doesn't help my hangovers too well. Maybe a warm shower will do me wonders._

So, Irvine decided to get a long, warm shower. The water almost symbolic of his love, the warmth of his heart. His heart burned for her, for the one he truly loved. Selphie. 

***

Selphie found Quistis standing near the clinic brandishing a broken arm. Quistis never really found herself wondering, who exactly she was. She was too logical for that. She wasn't some love-drunk twit, she knew what she had to do and she did exactly that. 

"Rough night last night Quisty? Heh heh heh!" Selphie asked in her exuberant tone. 

"Yeah, yeah, actually it was more like rough day, stupid training center." Quistis shot back, as if mocking her. 

"Awww! I was just about to go there, what happened?" 

"Nothing special…" 

"Nothing special?! Something special had to have happened there if you broke your arm!" 

"I don't want to talk about it." Quistis was acting uncharacteristic of herself, holding things inside. 

"Quisty?" 

With that, Selphie crossed one name off her mental list. Now she would search for Zell. He'd want to join her for a good old day fighting. Just like the old times. The times where they always fought together. Looking out for each other, never caring what happened to themselves. 

She found Zell sitting in a hallway stuffed with food, breathing heavily. 

"Zell?" Her trademark curiosity grew as she saw the plump figure slothing around on the ground. 

"Unnnhhh, yeeaahh, what is it?" He said weary, stirring slightly. 

"What have you DONE to yourself?!" 

"What do you mean?! I just went to get someone to repair the broiler.. and fryer. And then…" 

"And then?" 

"Well, Squall he said…." his tone was that of a drunkard. Half-awake, half-unconcious. 

"What did he say, Zell?" 

"He told me to get myself something! So I found this GREAT food stand! And I thought _'BOOYA! FOOD!'_

"Yeah, SOMETHING, Zell, not the entire stand!!" She hit him upside the head with her nunchaku. 

"OWW! I didn't eat the ENTIRE food stand! Just…" 

"Yeah, just what , Zell?!" 

He mumbled under his breath, "Three quarters of it." 

"Hehehe, Zell, you PIG! Well I guess this goes without asking, but I will anyway, so, I'm going to the training center.." She dug her toe into the ground and looked down, smiling. "..you wouldn't wanna come would ya?! You see, I wanna try out these new nunchuks." She stopped to think for a second then continued, "Wait I guess I already have!" She broke out into a fit of giggles but still managed to ask him one last question, "Maybe you can tell me how they were!" 

"Shut up Selph. Unnnhh…" Zell said as he collapsed onto the floor in a bloated stupor. 

_Damn! Where is all the spirit… geez!_ She thought as she walked, but she never let her thoughts get too deep. She'd take them for what they were, passing thoughts. And so, they never became a distraction. Or so she liked to believe. She knew of the times when thoughts overwhelmed her mind, she could never push them out of her mind, they occupied her every waking moment. 

As she continued her trail of thoughts and trail of steps toward the training center, she found Seifer. She accidentally bumped shoulders with him. He gave her a cold glare, then quickly smiled. 

"Get out here before I write you up for that…." Seifer actually smiled. Warm, gentle. 

"Umm… Seifer?" She asked inquisitively. _Why is everyone acting outside themselves today? Is it something to do with the day?_ She sighed lightly. Taking in small pieces of air with her breathe. 

She turned to see if Seifer had left her presence yet, and as she expected he had. _Well I guess I go it alone now._ She grew nearer to the training center and found Squall there, sobbing mysteriously. Squall's itinerary for the day had been destroyed by past events. And so, he sat and sobbed. 

"Squall?! What is it?" Again, the curiosity broke through her questions, it was her trademark. A trademark unmatched by any other. 

"Selphie, what are you doing here?" 

"Nothing, I was just going to try out my new nu… nevermind that why are you here, has something happened?!" 

"No… where's Irvine, why would you let him miss out on all the fun?" 

"Ummm… you know Irvine, I think some of Zell's characteristics rubbed off on him. You know, laziness and all." She said as she giggled gently to herself. 

"Whatever…." Squall had been broken. Laughter meant nothing to a broken, battered soul. And Squall was no exception. 

"Squall…you know.. you seem a bit down. Would you wanna take out your frustrations on some MONSTERS? Huh Huh? I'm going to the training center! We could tag along!" 

"Why not…." He punched one of his hands into his pockets, and threw the other down to his new weapon, a laser gun; as he picked himself up. 

"Why the new outfit of weaponry Squally?" 

"Forget it." He had no interest in explaining himself. He just wanted to quench the growing fire; the depth of which hadn't been known to him before. 

"Okaaaay…." She threw her over-righteous happiness his way, and he only reflected it back at her. She gave up. _Must just be a bad day… for everyone._

She noticed it with everyone, was she the only one out on the happenings? How could that be, she made it a goal to be the center of everything, gossip and all. The two of them pushed further on, never pulling back. She knew something was wrong with the day, but as always her mind stayed simplistic so, she could never understand the impending doom that would meet them. 

"Squall, can I ask you a question?" She asked as they pressed forward toward the center. 

"What is it." He didn't even ask, he made it a statement to show his seemingly uncaring attitude; an attitude that was too easily misunderstood, yet fully comprehendible. 

"Well, I was wondering, when this mission is over… can I leave Garden for a while?" Her tone took a 180, she picked up her pace, her breathing grew shallow and she'd dodge his questions like darts. 

"WHAT?!" He stopped in his tracks, and turned to her in shock. 

"Well, I was just wondering, ya know?" She dug her toe into the ground and looked down. 

"What brought this on Selph? Why would you want to leave, has something happened with you and Irvine?" His seemingly uncaring attitude left him, he wanted nothing more than to understand this new course of events. Her ulterior motive was working. 

"No, I was just wondering, you know?" She had an ulterior motive. She knew she never watned to leave. 

"Well then what is it?" 

"Well, Squall, I don't really agree with the leadership…" 

"You WHAT?" The anger to fight, the anger of his soul flew onward like a fire breathing more oxygen, growing. 

"You know…" She retracted, knowing she had pushed him too far. However, she had never thought he'd be this angry. It had worked a little too well, and now she'd feel the pain of it. Backfiring like an overloaded shotgun, bearing down on her. 

"What the hell are you talking about Selphie?" He glared at her with the fire flaring into his gentle blue eyes. It had been let loose, it now contained his soul, his heart. 

"Ummm…. Squall, okay I'll admit it, I was just saying that. But I only did it because I wanted to know!" She tried to retreat, to conceal the pain. She'd know what true pain was today; maybe, maybe not. 

"Whatever, let's just continue…." He turned and quickly walked away; he decided not to pursue it any further. He'd get the info he wanted when he wanted, but for now he just wanted to quench the desire to fight. 

_Whew, what's up with him all of a sudden._ She caught up to him and noticed he was angrier than when he first turned upon her. She looked over at him and said, "Squall? I'm really sorry." 

"Sorry? Is that all I'm hearing today?! Why is that all anyone can say today? SORRY this, SORRY that." 

She hugged him and smiled as she said, "Squall! I'm just joking around, you 

know me, Selphie extraordinaire!" She was, as she always has, made things up as she went. She had no plans past the exclamation mark. She wanted nothing than to make him feel better. Her ulterior motive always seemed to be for the betterment of the group, not the individual, even if it meant sacrificing herself. 

"Look, Selphie I should be the one apologizing." For now, the calm blueness of his eyes quenched the fire, drove it back down under control. But he wasn't sure it'd last long enough so he picked up the pace as to take it out on the monsters. "I'm sorry Selph." He turned halfway and gave her a half-smile. 

"Aw it's okay Squally! YEEEEHAWW, bring it on monsters!" 

***

Irvine walked out of the dorm room still half-groggy, as it was still halfway through the day. _Man, I could still be sleeping, but why should I on this beautiful day. It's a shame that I slept on this beautiful day._

"Irv!!" Rinoa came running up to him and as she spoke she had urgency in her eyes. 

"Yes Rinny, what is it?" He remained his cool, collected self. This day had brought him an unsurpassed amount of happiness, he hadn't known why. 

"Have you seen Squall?" The look of urgency infiltrated her eyes further now, the gentle brown turning to bright black as her pupils expanded to the furthest reaches of her eyes. 

"Umm… No…" He looked down as he spoke, smiling, "Actually, I just woke up." 

"Oh, you silly…." She slapped him on the back. She didn't feel his ponytail anymore. Naturally she had to know where it was and why it wasn't there, 

"What happened to your ponytail, Irv?" 

"Eh, Selphie wanted to try out her new scissors. And of course I'm her guinea pig, she tried out her new nunchakus on me too." He pointed to his arm, raising his overcoat, as he spoke, "See that? Fresh bruise from her damn nunchakus, she gets insane with those type of things… damn…." 

"I see…." She looked around with shifty eyes, unsure what to think. So she changed the subject back to the whereabouts of Squall. 

"So you haven't seen Squall? I really need to speak to him." The temporary cheerful tone she had, vanished again just as quickly as it had come. 

"Oh, well I'm sorry Rinny, but no I can't say I have. Why is it so urgent?" He grew curious. 

She smiled gently, "Top secret." She winked at him. 

He smiled back with a unspoken understanding, "I see." He would leave her now, and she would leave him. The food stand was much too tempting for him to pass up. 

She left Irv to find someone who may have seen him. _Someone had to see him, hell everyone bothers us when we don't want them to, now no one knows!_ She soon found an unconscious bloated Zell. 

"Zell! Wake up!" 

"Unnhh, booyaka…" He spoke in an unamused voice, a voice uncharacteristic 

of his style. 

"Yeah, Zell WAKE UP!" She kicked him gently trying to budge him. 

"Wh… what…. What is it, momma?" 

"Uhhh, Zell I'm not your mother! WAKE UP!" 

"I don't want to go to school today…." 

"UGH!" She pushed him into the fountain pool. 

"There, NOW WAKE UP!" 

He splashed as if he were in an ocean. He felt as if he were drowning. 

"I'm up, I'm up…" His eyelids refused to acknowledge the sunlight. 

"Good, I don't suppose you've seen Squall, have you?" 

"Squall? No, I'm afraid I haven't, sorry Rinoa. But I have seen Selphie, she 

was heading toward the training center." He paused for a few minutes collecting his weary thoughts, he then continued, "Oh wait, I have seen Squall he paid me to go get the fryer and broiler fixed earlier today. I think he walked off toward the center too." 

"Hmm.. thanks Zell. Now was cooperating so hard? Try to do more of it and less of the things you were doing. Got it?" She said heartilly. 

"Yeah, yeah." He closed his eyes again. 

As she walked away Seifer walked up and couldn't resist poking fun at the helpless floating blimp, Zell. 

"Hahahahaha, hey chicken-wuss, eat a bit too much chicken?" 

"SEIFER! Can't you see I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE? I'm NOT A CHICKEN-WUSS! Leave me alone!" 

"You know, you're right, I may just do that. … …. … Never." 

"Go away!" He splashed water into Seifer's eyes. 

"FUJIN, RAIJIN!!" 

Rinoa walked away from the growing scene faster now as she heard the names, "FUJIN and RAIJIN". It was going to get ugly now. All she wanted was to find Squall. She missed him so. 

***

Squall and Selphie continued through the training center without much resistance. The Garden had recently imported some newer, stronger enemies to keep pace with the growing strength of SeeD. Even though SeeD had turned into a peacekeeping organization they still had to train the fighting aspect. 

T-Rexaurs were now the weakest enemies in the center, they, when Squall and the others were training, were thought to be the hardest in Garden. But, unbeknownst to Squall and Selphie, the monsters had been breeding to form more formidable foes. Fate would draw these two to one of the strongest enemies in Garden, let alone the world. 

They encountered another T-Rexaur and in the middle of the fight Selphie stopped. 

"Squall, where are all the enemies? All we've seen today are T-Rexaurs. This grows tiresome." Her spunk was running out, she'd tested the nunchakus and they passed with flying colors. 

"Patience, Selph." He said as he shot a few dozen holes into the T-Rexaur. _She is right, this is too easy._ He always preached patience, but he now knew the limits of his own. _Where the hell are they? This is too strange._

"Oooohhhhh there's a big one!!!!" The shadow loomed over them as she spoke. 

Squall turned to notice his face parallel with a massive knee. He stared at the knee, then slowly followed it up to a hip, a torso, a neck, and to three heads. _What the hell is it? I've never seen anything like this before; I knew this day would be bad…_

The times had returned again, the two warriors got into their traditional battle positions. A battle did rage that day, a battle that shook the very foundations of SeeD and the Garden. Squall started by casting a GF into position, with little effect he fell back onto his new unwieldy gun. _Damn I could really use my gunblade right about now; no more Renzukoken to fall back on now._

Selphie delivered a healthy dose of magical spells that were negated with little effort of the massive, looming beast. _What the… what are we going to do… Squall?_ She looked over at him as she thought, he had a blank expression on his face. His face was always this way in the depth of battle. 

His eyes burned with the fire that his soul felt. He had a calm resolve about him. He knew he'd win, he had that courage that a leader would need. He was the perfect leader. He shot mindlessly at his target, with precision and ease. However, this ease soon turned to frustration. 

It was now the beast's chance, the chance it had been waiting for its entire life. The chance to eliminate mere objects, obliterate species. The chance it had its entire life, but never had fulfilled. 

Its attack was enormous, the Garden shook; Squall and Selphie flew backwards, and fell onto their backs. 

"Damn, what the hell was that! What the hell is THIS thing?!" Squall showed no expression, he showed no weakness, even though in his heart he knew they were beat. His confidence was being drained. 

The beast turned to bring another blow, this time it'd be directed at the two. It'd put them out of their misery in a second flat. If not for the blinding light, but the shrieking noise that it'd cast. It reared back its heads…. 

***

Rinoa felt the shock of the strike; she bounced on the floor leading to the center. She knew it had something to do with Squall. She could feel it. She picked up Angelo and ran faster toward the center's gaping hole. 

The ominous sound struck her heart, piercing her ears. She knew another blast was imminent; she knew she hadn't a second to waste. 

***

Feathers surrounded the beast and the surroundings. Squall looked up at the beast for a brief second before falling unconscious from his wounds of hitting the wall with force. The feathers were white, but a few remained black. He was wondering if he had already begun his venture up to heaven. 

The monster turned to see a force that could not be reckoned with. He saw pure love itself. An angel. 

"Release them." The entity said in a booming, commanding voice. 

The monster stared at its pure white light, its pure heavenly inspired clothing. It reveled back in pain as the light pierced its eyes, its skull, and soul. 

"I warned you." The entity, knowing its job was done flew back our of existence, disappearing. 

Rinoa fell from the white orb of light it left in its wake. Angelo came running to catch her. For now, Angelo would be the only conscious entity in the entire vicinity. Angelo drug Rinoa by the others and protected them there, loyally, happily…


	4. Chapter Three: Windswept Romance

**Chapter Three:**

_Windswept Romance _

**Subchapter I: A Dream's Awakening**

Wind. It always pushed itself onto into the scene, beating itself through the thickest of forests and the worst of times. Romance was no different to wind, and it would always push itself in places where it was not welcome. Squall, too felt the pain of this, being forced open so many times. Was it her who thrust herself upon Squall? Or was it Squall who willingly let her do so. 

Time had never changed for the two, and this was no different. These times were all the same, a passing cloud, a shifting leaf, or even a falling raindrop; these would all change, but Squall and Rinoa were as constant as time itself. Maybe this is what bothered him so. Or perhaps, it wasn't this fact at all, maybe he craved the steadiness of their love, their life.

Squall knew too well the fact of the child he was about to be the father to. He knew the responsibility he'd have to assume. But did he want it? Answers were always ever-elusive, passing his every whim, every thought. For he knew, far too well what this responsibility would entail. He still hadn't a clue what he'd do when the child was born. If there were one thing he knew for sure was that he'd give it the same love that he gave Rinoa, probably more. He'd burn for it, his soul may finally have purpose…

_Rinoa…._

_ Where are you? You know you can't leave me alone, like this. You know this is where you're supposed to come and save me. But, where are you? I don't see you this time. This time you have disappeared; where have you left me? Oh, how cruel you have made life seem at times. But Rin… you know I will never leave._

_ Things happen. People come and go. But there is one thing I will always know, Rinoa. Perhaps you will know this too, when it is all over. When everything is said and done, maybe we will finally be together. Maybe we will finally have a place to call our own. _

_ You know who I am, and I know who you are, Rin. Why can't these things become clear when I speak to you. Why must I find the answers alone. You promised me that I'd never have to walk those shores alone; you promised I'd never have to reach for those stars by myself. Why now, of all times must I reach myself past you._

_ Why is my soul on fire? Why is this fire burning past me? Where are you taking me, Rin. What has happened to you, what has happened to me? Have times truly changed, have the Gods forsaken our love? Or is this our destiny? _

_ Destiny will never have a place in my heart, Rin. You know that. I know that, we know that. And our child, will never have to face these pains, I assure you, my love. Times have passed, but I still feel those days, those times of love. When everything was new, when we felt each other out. We had to improvise, you know? We had to see what fit, and what didn't? I still believe, Rinoa, that our formula is the best the world has seen. The best the world will ever see._

_ I cannot wait for this child to come, to come and save us. We need it, Rinoa. We need something to add cohesive to our pain, to seal our fate. What are we to do when Angels fall? Who are we to meet when Pain fills our every Thought? What can I say, but that you are my love. Maybe that is what pains me so, maybe this is what toils in my heart. Putting my heart through a blender day in, day out. Maybe you need a way out._

_ Maybe I cannot handle your torments. Maybe you've changed. Maybe I will never understand, perhaps this is all my fault. Are the Gods really laughing at us? Or is it simply you…._

Squall fell through the sails of his heart. The wind had left his soul. He had nothing else in the world than her love. But he would always neglect that knowledge for a safer territory, fighting. This was always his way out, his push to put the pain behind, to put his past aside. He never wanted anything more than to put it behind him. He knew what he wanted and he knew how to hold it.

There were far too many things in Squall's heart, in his mind. He knew absolutely what he had to do. But these were all mere shadows of illusions that he cast on his mind. Something he thought he knew, he was always confused, he never truly knew. He put these things onto his everyday life as well. He walked through life with the thought of knowing every single happening, knowing what life was.

Perhaps, life is nothing more than a shadow of itself. Life can be whatever you want it to be. Life can be whatever you need it to be. These were Squall's true philosophies. Live between the weeks, for the weekends. Or if someone needs something different, for a price of course, he'd live between weekends, for the weekdays. He was a SeeD of the highest order.

Life would fall through at times though. These times he'd see its purity, its true power. The power masking the love he felt for Rinoa. The feelings he had toward her, were nothing short of a spell in itself. He believed, he knew when to cast it, he knew when he was out of stock. He knew how to draw more of this _life_ magic from her, he knew exactly what he wanted when he wanted it. 

But as he already failed to know, this was all an illusion, a mere temple put in place to protect his soul. In this temple he sat, in this temple he could never truly love. He was about to see the follies of his ways….

_Rinoa…._

_ You know what you need. You can feel me out, I can feel you when you think. Is this an illusion? Who are we when we don't know what there is in the world. What is there when love fails to shower us in its light._

_ What could I do without you, my angel. Rinoa, I once told you that I'd always be your knight no matter if the world hated you. Do you still believe that/? Did you at any given time believe that? Or is it possible that you too, shelter yourself from the pain. I suppose life is cruel, and I don't blame you for the things it possesses._

_ But what am I to do, Rinoa? Who am I to tell these thoughts to, when you won't listen?_

_ Why don't you see?_

_ Where am I to be?_

_ If I were to run, would you be there?_

_ Be there to catch me from my fall. Would you harbor my sanctity?_

_ Where are we to go from here, Rinoa?_

The confusion overwhelmed his thoughts, his heart and soul were in conflict. He was fighting the battle of his life without knowing it. The SeeD would soon come face to face with his true Garden. A SeeD of the highest order…

**Chapter Three:**

_Windswept Romance _ **Subchapter II: Fate's Chance**

_Squall…_

_ Is it true? Do we have such a fateful journey ahead of us?_

Is it possible to make such a long journey alone? Can we do this, Squall? You have me, I have you; the truth never hurt before. What happens when one makes the journey; Squall, answer me.

Rinoa had felt the scars of time. She knew the pain but she hadn't seen it. She was blind to the problems of their youth. She remained transfixed on her goal of world peace; she became obsessed with it. She forced it upon Squall; she forced it upon everyone. Who could avoid such ridiculous claim, she would always be outraged at those who feared change. Rinoa was a true Timber Owl.

She, like her father before her, knew the limits and bounds of government. She knew them far too well; she pushed them to the brink of breaking. But, the real genius in her ideals was that she always remained low-key. Oh sure there were times here and there where she was caught, or was being chased, hell that's how Squall and her met. But she knew those times had passed, only to be pushed further and further away.

Much is the same as fate. Fate would never listen to the bounds of human constraint, it sought to change those constraints. What she did to governments, was what fate had always done with Humans lives: change them at the whim of its choosing. She knew nothing but the power she felt inside herself, love. 

The true sorceress, the power to quench the fire of Squall's mighty soul was quite the power she felt, she knew this was her fate. She knew what she had to do to keep everything, she had the feelings of power, and she had the push. But, alas she knew it was all for not, because that power would be drained with but one or two words. And those words only had to come from Squall; there was one soul she could not control. This didn't bother her thought, she knew who she was, and she knew who he was. Love was truly triumphant.

If you were to heed my call, would you be the only one? Would there ever be another time when I needed more, to be separated from… 

_ From those who make us cry, to those who make us sigh, you are mine, Squall. I have you, you have me, and there is nothing that can change it, so why do you fight it so?  
  
_

_ You hide, you run, you fly, where are we to go, Squall? I lead you to what you know most, Squall. I lead you to yourself, yet you force me back, and tell me I'm wrong. What is wrong…_

_ What is right.. _

_ Am I truly blind?_

Blindness is such a forgiving attribute; people pity those who are blind. Why? Because we think it hinders them. Hinders their ability to truly enjoy the fruits of love, the fruits of life, however, those who do so make a deadly mistake. Blindness isn't a weakness, it's a stroke of God, and those who are blind are the ones who are enlightened. The saints of yore, the passion of those people to live, the sheer desire to make good of bad is insurmountable. Can you say you do the same?

_Squall, when the pain surmounts itself past the river's bank do you run? _

_ I don't_. _Why do I feel the pain surmounting… all of a sudden._

The true sin was coming..

_It is as if you are fighting a battle within yourself._

Fate cast its shadowy darkness on her heart

_Look, Squall, if you want to run I won't stop you, but I will say this. Death is cast_

_upon those who fear to face it. I am not death, Squall, so why do you fear me so? I will show you my true power… someday…_

It was as if something struck her mind. Her thought suddenly became scattered, she knew nothing but what she felt. Was she truly in love, or was it something else, what has happening? 

Was it actually Squall who was the one fighting a battle within himself, or was it now Rinoa fighting that battle, waging that war. She was confused, much the same as Squall, she felt disoriented, confused. Maybe Squall had cast his final magic on her heart, maybe she had cast her final doubt on his soul. Time was always of the essence, but now it seemed different.

Time is always viewed as an enemy, now she saw it as friend. Brining the time when they'd feel each other again closer, she saw time again. It overflowed its banks, and it was coming to engulf her soul.

_What once was name Angel, shall be renamed Griever. _Squall's necklace came into view…

Pain, insurmountable at first, becomes more and more bearable as the fear recedes. The problem here was the fact that she knew nothing but fear and pain, she was a Timber Owl, she hired others to take care of those deeds. She was just the mastermind, the planner, she felt no remorse, only fear. 

Squall's heart had never changed, only his outlook. Why had her's been so fickle? Why could she one day know "true love" with Seifer then the next fall for Squall. Truth was but a flicker of fire in the horizon. She'd never truly find it, or perhaps it was to be that way, perhaps she would find it, if she'd let Squall help her.

Squall knew the pain, he knew all the type of pain she was dealing with. Squall had an aficionado for pain…

Because as always…

Time is always of the essence…. Best not to keep anyone waiting…

Time…

_Would you harbor my sanctity, Rinoa?_

**Chapter Three:**

_Windswept Romance _

Squall opened his eyes to Angelo and Rinoa's lovely faces greeting him. The dog licked him in the face and with that he pushed the dog aside and gained his composure. The last thing he could recall was seeing a blank sheet of white and thinking he was dead, but yet here he was with Rinoa, Angelo, and Selphie. "_Wait where the hell is Selphie…? What the…?"_ Squall was disoriented, confused. Not much unlike Rinoa, but she wasn't showing it. Squall had a tempest brewing in him, an ominous sight; it pushed his heart out of the way.

"_Where.. what.. who.._" As he thought these things he tried to walk and soon found his knees failed him. He nearly collapsed, and would have if Rinoa hadn't been there. His vision blurred, he had been hit hard. That blast took out his visual and higher thinking skills temporarily, he hadn't a clue who he was, what he was doing here, and what happened.

The brilliant white screen filled his vision again. He collapsed much the same he did when he hit the wall from the beasts attack. 

_"Where.. is.. she. . .? Rino..a? Se..l..phi..e?.. Ang. . . e. . ..lo!" _A field of flowers surrounded him as he fell into his mind again, this is a place that no human could ever escape from. The inner depths of his mind were deep, it would be difficult to get out of the mess he brought himself into. 

Rinoa caught his unstable fall from grace, she laid him down onto the ground and knelt down beside him. She looked over at Angelo and said, "Go, find Selphie!"

Her thoughts became mingled with her words, she grew more confused and as such she spoke things she wanted to think silently and vice versa.

"Oh, Squall _how I adore you so_ how you hate me so it seems, but that cannot be true _truth_ is an accidental failing of humanity."

"What do I do now, Squall? What do I do when I become _irritated, angry _confused, what can I do without my knight?"

"My knight has fallen from grace now and I must reconsider my possibilities, Squall, I don't know how long you'll last in that coma, but I don't know how long I will last with you in that coma either."

"We both must do what we must... and that may include many things.. nothing can be ruled out, you know that right?"

"Please, keep this between you and I.. shh.. Squall don't cry, it will be okay.. oop! Shh.. here comes Selphie, hush hush!"

Rinoa had started to turn insane, talking to an unconscious being and making it be silent, then getting angry with it for not promising to do so. She looked down at her knight, her lover, her star-struck hero. She looked over at the badly bruised and bleeding Selphie, and smiled.

"Wow you took a hit, huh?" She asked.

"Well.. no.. the blast hit closer to Squall than it did me, so I'm pretty sure he got the worst of it, so typical... he has to take the brunt of all tempests, and storms, yet he doesn't let anyone help him. Look at him, I think he's quite content lying there. Alone and peaceful.. in solitude."

"Perhaps.." she trailed off. She really didn't want to think of the possibilities of that, she'd rather not know if he were happy or sad in that state. She finally figured she should move him to the doctor's office.

"Selphie, help me here won't you?"

"Um.. Rinoa, are you crazy? We're going to carry him all the way to the doctor's area, that's all the waaaaaaay across Garden!, Why don't we just have the doc bring us a stretcher?!"

"Right, that's what I meant.." Her mind had turned absent. Selphie ran and to get help. Rinoa wasn't quite sure if it was the life or her soul being drained out of her. Something inside her told her to stay, her heart told her that she loved him, but something else was tearing her up inside. She went on believing it was nothing, but perhaps she'd figure it out later, or maybe this day was just like any other. At any rate she knew of nothing more than what she needed to do for Squall.

The feelings flowed from her eyes and heart as she watched Squall, helpless, set onto the stretcher and hauled out of the Training Center. She felt like running after them, but her legs didn't agree; she felt like kneeling before God, but her mind told her no; she felt like…  
  
She felt like…  
  
She felt like  
  
_Crying!_

She ran; she cried, her stinging tears blinding, impeding her every step. She knew nothing but the feelings she felt; the action seemed to slow, the pauses caught her attention, it was as if time had stopped. _"Even God is mourning this... so what am I supposed to do?!"_

She continued her long descent into darkness as she pushed onward, flailing helplessly at nothing, thrashing at the bits of air she could find. She looked up, onward, elsewhere.

She finally reached the clinic to find the doctor hunched over him, trying to wake him. She frowned and took a seat outside the curtained area; she knew she had to wait, but she didn't want to. She didn't like the thought of waiting to see the one whom she loved so. Feelings of remorse and regret soon filled her mind; if she could have just reacted differently, not dropped the gunblade none of this would have happened. She put her face in her hands and wept silently and softly.

Dr. Kadowaki told Rinoa the news, "Squall is fine, physically and mentally. If you want to call a coma fine that is to say. We aren't sure exactly how long he will be in it, but we do know that it will be longer than a week.." She trailed off, she could see the pain in Rinoa's eyes.

"I understand your pain, Rinoa; this is a devastation to us all, especially with our new fight we've plunged ourselves into. But, Rinoa you have to be strong, if not yourself, then at least for the others inside the Garden. They look up to both you, you do realize that don't you? And don't worry about him, you know how strong he is; you know how much a warrior he is, he will come through." She gave Rinoa a comforting smile.

Rinoa in turn sat there emotionless, with a blank stare on her face. Her face had started to turn pale, for once in her life she had no opinions, or political beliefs, she was simply in shock. 

"But.. but.." She sputtered, trying to grasp her thoughts. The thoughts attacked her mind one coming from a different way each time. She knew nothing but the pain she was feeling. She was scared, lonely, and helpless. She had nothing to hang onto now, nothing to hold; those long nights would come and go now without a partner there to warm and relax her. She struggled to search her mind for some coherent question, but she failed.

"Rinoa.. don't speak, I know this must be devastating but we will monitor his vital signs closely and there are things you can do too.." Dr. Kadowaki had dealt with things of this nature in the past, and she was trying to make Rinoa feel needed, give her a purpose, "You can talk to him, encourage him to come out of it, hearing your voice was the only thing he had when you were in this condition; the voice he heard so many times in his head. Then when you left, when you were induced by the Sorceress he had that playing in his mind, over and over. He talked to you a lot, he'd be in here everyday saying that he just wanted to hear your voice again, and that he was sorry. Perhaps, you can do the same."

"I.. I.. guess I could talk to him everyday, tell him how I feel; tell him what was going on with the Garden. Maybe he could be my little journal, to keep things in; and then he'll want to wake up to make things right." She grew with enthusiasm, but not a joyous enthusiasm, but rather a grim and disposed enthusiasm; she knew she had it in her, she just didn't' know how. "Yeah! I can help him.. like he helped me.. so long ago."

She walked over to Squall and smiling at him, she kissed him on the forehead. She then whispered in her ear, "_Squall.. I won't let you down, I promise!"_ That said, she walked out the door. Looking back at the figure she loved. She felt the love for him. As she walked out the door of infirmary and clinic she walked toward the entrance to take a gaze outside. She noticed birds flying overhead, and as they did, they dropped some feathers on her. She smiled up at the brilliant blue sky and the birds. 

Selphie came running up to Rinoa and asked, "Rinoa! Is Squall all right? I haven't checked on him yet.. how is he?"

"He is in a coma, Dr. Kadowaki said something to the effect of about a week or more. They are unsure."

"In a coma? Did you ask why?"

"No."

"Well, why didn't you? Because it should have affected me the same way, we weren't THAT far apart!"

"Okay.. that is weird.."

"Aww, Rinoa are you okay?" Selphie was confused, but she couldn't imagine what Rinoa was going through. She wondered how she'd react if Irvine were to succumb to the state Squall was in. _"I'd go utterly insane.. I swear.. Irvie sick and helpless?"_

"Yeah, thanks Selphie." Rinoa's mind seemed to have drifted to other thoughts, other times and other places. She couldn't concentrate on anything. Over the next few weeks she'd feel a bit better, but for now she was mired in the present. Her mind slid away to another time, when they had an open, breathing love. She held her head high, she knew nothing but his intoxicating touch, she lived for everything.

Now it seemed far from being the same as it ever was. The possibility was very real that they could never touch again, and she could never feel his touch, or hear his wonderful voice. Her mind trailed off into the darkness of depths as she walked. She wondered what her life would be like without him, her husband; she wondered what it'd be like for her child to live in a world without her father. She thought back to all their experiences, she thought back to all those times when they had ran care-free, when she didn't care. Why had the world suddenly turned against their love?

_Where are you Squall? I'm here searching for you!_

The awful thoughts of never seeing or hearing Squall again manifested themselves in the back of her mind. She wanted so much to be able to hold him again; she already missed him. This was going to be a long and lonely, mundane existence if it had to be dealt with without Squall. 

Times reverted in and out of each other, she became confused, forced into submission. She watched as her cheerful times of their first dance flickered in her eyes. She cringed when she recalled the times when Ultimecia controlled her. She felt like she had to succumb to a power inside her, it was much like Ultimecia's strong grip that held her heart fast. She hadn't felt this sensation for five long years, and she had rather it stayed away for eternity, but she knew nothing of what it was, and she didn't mean. She'd rather leave it that way, it is easier for everyone that way. 

The grass swayed about in the wind, and she sat on a niche in the ground to contemplate the happenings of the day. She felt as if she had failed something, maybe it was she who was in contempt of love. Perhaps she wasn't sad over the fact that Squall may be another lost soul, but that she may be the one who is lost. 

She felt the cool wind blow her hair back as she looked into it and saw the burning sun set on the horizon. She felt the wind grow cooler as the moon began to rise and darkness filled the air. Time had turned to night. The day receded back to its state of hibernation. Sleeping wistfully in the night's cool air. Rinoa gazed up toward the stars, they seemed to tell a different story now, one vastly changed from any of the others that they once told. She could feel the pain and sorrow of them, yet was in awe at their great strength.

The moon started to creep up from the horizon as she sat there. The wind hadn't ceased, and she, knowing full well what came out at night, walked back toward the Garden. She knew nothing but what she missed; and the day had passed from day to night, and now here she was, empty. She could finally say she understood the pains and difficulties of love, and she, without a doubt, had been cast aside with its powerful and mighty hand. 

She simply sighed as she drug herself off the rock and walked in the direction toward Balamb Garden. She never knew that love could be so harsh, perhaps it was fatal. It plunged even the mightiest of warriors into battle and she knew that the same held true for her. Squall was gone now and she had no control over it, she had no say in how it was to be dealt with. 

She felt empty.. and remorseful… The moon shone brightly in the sky behind her..


End file.
